Onions

What do you love now, that you hated when you were younger?

There are many things that I love now but hated when I was young, some of it is music but the thing that stood out when I saw this prompt was onions.

I used to loathe them, my mam would make a stew and it would be filled with big thick chunky ones.

When we were sat at the table eating my dinner I would mess with the onions hoping they would vanish, my mam would say: ” Mark stop messing with your food you will not leave this table till it is all gone.”

As soon as my mam would get up from the table to do something like pop in the kitchen, I would wrap them in paper kitchen roll and stick them in my wellies.

I remember this one time I got caught because our family dog, Rover, would not stop putting his nose inside the tops of my Wellington Boots.

Haiku

When I was younger.

I hated the Pet Shop Boys.

Mostly ONIONS.

…October seventeen sixty-three.

It has been three years since my father vanished off the face of the earth, I miss him every day. I want to follow in his footsteps… I have trained well in the use of the sword; I need to use a compass more; I will train hard and I will start to dress and act like a captain. Mother, bless her soul, wants me to be a baker down at Old Ash Lane Bakery, I must defy her though and follow my dreams…

Sea captains may traditionally have been men, but this young lady has dreams of breaking the mould and having lots of adventures whilst doing it.

While honing her captain skills one day she comes across a box that will change the course of her life. It will lead her to the far reaches of the globe, or at least to the furthest point she has ever been to!

It will allow her to meet some of the funniest, craziest and most annoying people she has ever had the displeasure of meeting, whom she will soon call her close friends and crew!

Packed with crude humour, cringe-worthy crew and tantalising tales, Captain Lardarse will keep you enthralled and disgusted all at the same time!

“The beast is yet to come.”